Thanksgiving came early to the Dallas Summer Musicals on October 28, 2003 in the form of a turkey called "I Got Merman". The loosely-woven framework masquerading as a book is one of the worse attempts at a book musical I have ever encountered. A more apt title for this show would be "Four Very Talented Singers in Search of a Musical." The premise is three female singers (Becca Ayers, Cindy Marchionda, and Carol Swarbrick) channeling Ethel Merman during a rehearsal for a show about her career. Mr. Fisk (Jeffrey Biering) is their accompanist.
Swarbrick has Merman down pat, and she and Marchionda are belters who can really sell a song. Ayers, while no slouch in her Merman renditions, is no match for her other distaff colleagues. Part of the book calls for her to slip into a phony, nondescript foreign accent which has nothing to do with anything.Nothing in the first acts works performance-wise. Finally, mid-way through Act II, when the singers are allowed to just sing the great numbers of Jule Styne and Stephen Sondheim, Irving Berlin, and Cole Porter, does the show come to life. Jeffrey Biering is a fine accompanist, but he is totally superfluous as the fourth singer.
The set is virtually non-existent and is interspersed with an occasional series of three concentric arcs with annoying flashing lights, which only serve to deflect attention from the singers. The rolling lights work well for only one number: Cole Porter's rousing "Blow, Gabriel, Blow." The only other ensemble number that really comes across well is Porter's "Friendship." And the costumes lack even a semblance of imagination.
I Got Merman was allegedly a big hit in Japan. If the Japanese had dropped this bomb on the Allies during World War II, they may possibly have been victorious.
